Bleach: We Have Lost Our Marbles
by Madeleine Rosas
Summary: Who knew camping with the Kurosaki's could be such fun... Not.


Bleach: We Have Lost Our Marbles

They had been walking for two hours? Maybe? Ichigo could feel the sun burning through his clothes and his legs ached now. Sweat drenched his forehead and arm pits, that was quite irritating. He kept using his arm to wipe the excess sweat but it was no use. It was like Niagara falls on top of his head, he was sure of it. Ichigo couldn't exactly say that this was a good idea. Camping with his dad was never a smart idea.

The designated camp out spots were all taken this weekend so they had to find somewhere vacant. Which told everyone that Ichigo's dad was bound to find something rundown and creepy looking. But in the back of his mind, the teenaged boy was at ease. At least Rukia was with him so it wouldn't be feel so bored.

The group kept in silence. It was clear everyone was deadbeat tired, all accept…

"Ah, can you smell that guys! That fresh smell of the outdoor woods." Ichigo's dad took a deep inhale of the pine essence of the woods, dancing around so enthusiastically.

Karin stared at him, pulling her face into an annoyed look. _"…idiot." _She thought.

"It's lovely, Mr. Kurosaki." Rukia agreed with much respect as she smiled graciously. Her eyes turning to Ichigo and elbowing him in the arm to say something.

Ichigo cleared his throat, acknowledging her actions then sighing. "…I've seen better." He added.

"…sorry dad, but me too… this is not what I had in mind." Karin sighed. Yuzu beamed a smile, "I don't know, I think it looks pretty cool." That was her answer to everything.

"Aha! Letting nature take care of us. This is all soo WONDERFUL!" Isshin pranced around, practically hovering in excitement to stream beside the group. "…See this beautiful deep blue stream? That will be our water… Eating anything the wild, throws at us!"

"And see those tombstones and shovel over there… that will be our future…"

"Karin, have some joy at least for today." Isshin patted his daughter on the head which she quickly resisted by ducking. "Heh, kidding."

…But this place did look a bit scary.

"_This would be a great place for a Hollow to creep up." _Ichigo thought to himself. He'd hoped that wouldn't happen. If anything was to make his weekend worse, that would do it. Isshin finally picked a spot and threw his things down. "Ok here… It has an excelling view doesn't?"

"Hm, so this is a camp site… it's big." Rukia placed a hand on her chin, observing the area. Yes, it seemed they weren't the first ones to camp here. There was a darkened spot in the grass where someone started a bonfire and a bit of litter was scattered over the ground. She smelled the pine through the wind and noticed that it had an awkward smell to it. It didn't smell like a Hollow… but… like some bears might be roaming around?

"Don't say it, Rukia." Ichigo uttered to her away from the others, noticing her perplexed expression. "I'm not looking forward to fighting any Hollows this weekend…"

She laughed sensibly to herself, as if Hollows would be the problem in a place like this. "Humph… Ichigo… you fool, your not the only one that has powers, you know." She had a feeling they would be fighting more bears then Hollows this weekend.

"Yea, yea… but I know that face of yours… just wanted to make sure we're clear on that…" Yup, two days would be enough to regain most of his energy and maybe some sleep… and if he could cool off too, that would be nice. He grunted hearing his stomach moan about and wondered when dinner was. But of all questions, there was one that entered his mind since he was dragged on this adventure, _why the heck was he there?_

* * *

"_First aid?" Yuzu thought blankly, trying to remember anything they had forgotten. _

"_Check." Karin crossed off the fourth thing off the list._

"_Blankets?"_

"_Hm, check." _

_Ichigo approached both his sisters and question. "What going on…"_

"_Camping today." Yuzu rolled her eyes at Ichigo almost annoyed that he was always forgetting something. It was almost like a sport to forget things the way he did. IT couldn't be done, only an abnormal person could carry out that mission. "Don't tell me you forgot Ichigo…" _

"_Ermm…."_

"_YUP leave it to Ichigo to remember important family events.. Not gonna happen." Karin answered sarcastically. _

_Not that he didn't remember but no one ever told him about a stupid camping trip. "Whatever."_

"_You are coming aren't you?" Yuzu questioned, forcing extra items to small duffle bag. Karin crossed her arms, sighing, "…He better. I'm not gonna be stuck with dad all this weekend."_

"_Where is he anyway?"_

"_Getting the last bit of stuff in the car. We should be leaving soon." Yuzu assured him, grinning widely._

"_Meh… I might go."_

_Isshin groped Ichigo in the back of the neck, startling him. "Might? Son everyone has to go. It's family time. To much noise here… I figured this would be a perfect time to gather the family up for fun time." _

"_Is it fun time, dad? Or are we gonna spend the whole weekend playing cards and I-SPY? Maybe counting stars if we are bored enough."_

"_Karin dear, I ASSURE you won't be bored. Daddy has plenty of games and ideas for the ENTIRE weekend."_

"_I would love to go too… If you have room." __Everyone looks to see Rukia standing by Ichigo. "OH MY SWEET RUKIA THERES ALWAYS ROOM FOR YOU!" Isshine replied with twinkles in his eyes._

"_Thanks! I will get my things…" She quickly dashed in the house._

_Karin sighed throwing her bags in the car. "Oh Goodie. Dad has turned into a perv… again." _

* * *

…The moon shinned brightly above their heads while their stomachs growled loudly…

"…It was midnight and the bount finally had her last meal… blood covered her mouth from her last victim, a young man by the age of twenty - three…"

…The camp fire crackled in the brief silence. Ichigo rolled his eyes, how dumb could this be…

"WOW! Rukia this is so scary, I might not be able to sleep tonight." Yuzu wrapped herself inside a blanket covering her eyes in fear. But the other girl sat there, placing her hand on her jaw, resting it there blandly. "Uhh… so what's a… _bount_…?"

Ichigo wasn't really listening but Karin's question caught his attention… "Um, it's nothing…" He grinned nervously, "Just a weird name for uhh… it's just _weird_…" He frowned at Rukia who helplessly smiled, clearing her throat.

"Oh hmm… I wonder where dad is… he needs to hear this…" Yuzu finally got up looking around, glaring through the darkness for him.

"Oh…he left…" Karin pointed few feet behind her, "… to go play with his _inner child…_"

"Inner child?" Ichigo questioned, dreading what she meant by that. His eyes followed behind her, watching his father struggle with something huge.

"Yeah… the tent." Karin answered. Isshin was there, in his own little world, brows knitting close together and hands up in the air shouting profanities. "DAMN. Who knew putting up tents would be the hardest thing to accomplish."

"It's not." Karin answered again, "I think I'm done for tonight… I'm going to sleep…"

"Aren't you hungry…?" Isshin abandoned the tent and came back to the group, carrying something in his hands. "At least eat some more of these berries and nuts I picked up on the way here."

"Nope." The girl almost looked bored, in fact Ichigo could tell she was. Karin pulled out her sleeping bag and slept somewhat far way from the others.

"Nuts… Berries? You idiot, are you telling me that you didn't pack any food for us to have for this weekend!" Ichigo yelled furiously, grabbing his dad by the shoulders and shoving him around. They were in the middle of nowhere for two whole days with the family car several miles away, he must have known that right?

"That's right…" His dad proudly answered, raising some of his freshly picked berries and held them to his son's face. "We're eating what nature sends our way… I told you that."

"Bullcrap."

"They are actually pretty good, Ichigo." Ichigo looked at his sister who had some in her hand as well. "…best berries and nuts I've had."

"See… try them son, they are good… I had a bunch of them myself earlier today." Isshin pushed them closer to his son…

Ichigo eyed them, he supposed he could try them, since there wasn't a fast food place near by. His mouth crinkled as he placed a few of the berries into his mouth. Moving them around, he began to chew. They weren't all that bad, they actually tasted like blueberries. "They are alright… Rukia you want-"

"No…" She immediately answered. "I'm not hungry. I actually just got through eating some chips I brought…"

"And you didn't share?" A vein snaked across Ichigo's forehead in frustration.

"Well… you never asked." She simply replied, getting yup and yawning deeply. He left it alone, at least he wasn't so hungry anymore. And the more he thought about it, he came to realize this weekend was going to really suck. No food, no bottled water… and no responsible parent… This was very frightening indeed.

"Well… I'm going to bed." He heard Rukia say and before he knew it, it was only him and his dad. He never saw Yuzu get up to go to bed either. He must have really been in thought. But now Isshin was back with messing with his tent. "Cooperate… damn it…" He pouted, kicking the dirt.

"Uhh… you want some help?" Ichigo called out to get the distant man's attention but Isshin didn't even hear him. "Ok, ok fine but you don't have to be soo mean…" His dad, commented to the tent.

"Uhh, dad?" Or he could just leave him alone and conclude this awkward conversation with a goodnight. He strolled away with confused eyes. "Uhh… night, dad."

* * *

He remembered counting the stars and Rukia told him to shut up. It was so hard to sleep last night and dreams didn't come easy but this morning, he woke up with the most weirdest feeling. "Hm? GAAAAH!" Ichigo sunk into his sleeping bag realizing it was only his dad in his face… "DO YOU MIND?" He forcefully pushed Isshin out of the way.

"ICHIGO! YAYYY HE'S UP. YAYYY!" The man was nearly dancing on his tippy toes… but what really amazed Ichigo was what his father was wearing… a grass skirt? Made of various leaves and grass… His face covered in a sort of make up… No… it was mud?

"What the hell?" Honestly he was expecting a surprise punch in the face… or a swift kick in the ass, but this… was ridiculous.

"YUZU LOOK OUR BOY IS UP!" The man yelled out again, his hands thrown up above his head in joy. Wide eyes stared at the orange - haired boy. "HE IS? ICHIGOOO! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYA!"

"Ichigo help me…" Another voice desperately called out to him. Karin was deeply frowning, placing her hands over her ears. She rushed over to him noticing Rukia was now awake from all the racket. "You guys, I don't know what's going on but dad and Yuzu have gone nuts!"

The three of them watched as both Yuzu and Isshin do-se-doed around the burnt out bonfire and singing loudly, "YO HO HO HE HE HE YA HA HA HA HA!" Their pupils as giant as glass marbles, they laughed evilly.

"Oh my god! What the hell… Ichigo please tell me you haven't gotten this crazy…"

"Nope…" Ichigo stared at them, cringing inside and was happy for that fact. Rukia seemed pretty normal too. "Well I know I'm ok… maybe they are happy about something…" Rukia assured her.

"Like what?" Karin never seemed so frightened. "You should know, Rukia, it's perfectly fine for dad to at like this but Yuzu was never this coo-coo…"

"Maybe if we leave, they'll stop acting like idiots…"

"I hope your right Ichigo." And He hoped he was too…

"Come on lets just leave…" Rukia commented taking Karin away from the camp site as Ichigo followed.

It wasn't close to the end of this madness and somehow they all knew it. Karin was still freaked. He was convinced by her eyes. He actually wanted to laugh, usually something like that would piss him off but for some reason he felt like… laughing.

"Well…" Rukia started to say but then was blocked again by another possibility to why Ichigo's family members were acting weird. "This is kinda strange…" She finally uttered.

"So you wanna blame this one the Hollows."

"Shut up, Ichigo, now is not the time."

"NO. I'm serious… Do ya… Do ya. DO yaaa…"

"N-no…" Rukia stared, brows raising. "Ichi…go…"

"What."

"…are you… ok?"

"Oh, I'm fine."

"…"

"… Just great, now Ichigo is going crazy…" Karin sighed, this was starting to be the worse weekend already and it wasn't even freaking Sunday yet.

"No, I think he's fine… He just scared me for a second is all."

"Really? Then why is he over at that tree and jumping at it like he's trying to catch a stupid bug or something?"

"Huh…?" Rukia whipped around with curious eyes to see the teenaged boy was at a random tree, jumping real high into the branches like he was catching something. The girls stared at him. "…Damn it Ichigo…" Karin sighed again. "What do we do now."

-CLAP, CLAP, CLAP, CLAP- His hands clashed against one another. "GAHH… HAA!" He would inhale deeply and try again. "COME HERE DAMN IT."

"Ichigo… what the hell are you doing… s-stop it." Figures… "ICHIGO…" Rukia marched over to him and was about to slap, maybe he would wake up that way and then…

"Catching this fairy… give me a sec." He quickly breathed, reaching higher and higher to grab at the air once more. He must have finally caught it because he cupped his hands, looking at them and smiling even though nothing was really there. "Such a pretty magenta fairy."

"A FAIRY?" Both girls yelled. "MAGENTA?"

"Someone pinch me… I hope I'm dreaming …" Karin mumbled, thumbing her face with her hand. "I REALLY hope I am."

"Ichigo stop it… Fairies aren't real." He was actually being serious. Rukia was sure of that but it never hurt to try and make he snap out of it. He gasped staring back at them with dangerous, baggy eyes. "Don't ever say that again!" He moved his hands away from his face whispering, "Every time you say that, a fairy dies." He frowned.

"Shit… well, the hell with this…" Karin marched off. "Let's go Rukia."

"But…Ichigo is-"

"Is lost…" She concluded, "…and I have a feeling we won't be getting him back for a while either… so lets go look for some help…"

So they left him there to play with his little "fairy." What a sad thing this was turning out to be. Here they were in the middle of nowhere, a mile from the camp site, no help… and everyone has gone bananas except them. They were at least a couple blocks from Ichigo who they could still hear laugh deep within the woods.

"Ok lets think for a minute." Rukia stopped walking, thinking of what could have made everyone, so far, go loony. "I think it's a little too late to call this coincidence."

Karin shivered. "Damn straight. I mean, you saw him… his eyes were all weird… hair was wild and crazy… his pupils were all big like he was high or something."

"The only thing I can gain from this is… those nuts and berries." She thought real hard on that, coming to her next fact. "I didn't have any so, I know I'm fine and you didn't have some right?… and if you did, you would have gone crazy by now." That all made sense besides Karin was "bad ass" why would she get over taken by some strange berries and nuts.

"Right. If I did, then I would have gone crazy by now…"

Rukia blinked twice. "That's… what I said."

"That's what who said."

_Are you serious… _

"So you… did …have the berries and nuts?" Rukia was afraid to ask. _No really_. She was.

"No, no…" The girl pleaded, smiling from ear to ear.

"No?…_you didn't…or…_?"

"No I mean, I WOULD NEVER have THOSE berries and nuts…" She began to dance around, waving her hands about. "Those make ya do crazzeeeeeee things! The berries and nuts I had were found underneath the depths of the woods. Those are much better then the dragon berries. Hehehehehehehehe…." Karin dropped to the gound laughing uncontrollably.

"Oh… kay…" Rukia felt her eye twitch. "What do now…" No food, no water, no help… no transportation. To top it off, she was the only one in her right mind. She watched Karin giggle over and over… "Dragon berries, dragon berries… hehe…hehehehehehe."

"Alright fine…" Rukia stared at her soul pager. "It's my only option." It made her wonder why she didn't do it in the first place…

* * *

"So, they got taken over by hyper active nuts and berries?"Renji dropped his mouth in disbelielf.

Rukia heaved a sigh,"yup."

"So what happened. After that." Renji raised a brow.

"Well, I called 911 and told them I was stranded in the middle of the woods with four crazies, one who thinks he's caught a fairy…The emergency rescued us, Ichigo and his family were rushed to the hospital and got their stomachs pumped." She replied, sipping her juice box.

"Damn…That sucks, wish I was there."

"But I did learn one thing from this…"

"Oh really, What?"

"…I'm never going camping with the Kurosaki's again."


End file.
